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Personal Story.

​Since you are here on this page, this is for you. You are not here by accident. This story is of my life-changing experience of recovering from a stroke: from the time when I had just finished college at UCLA, was a professional artist, choreographer and dancer, had my own dance company in 1990-1992 and choreographed over 30 pieces in 5 years. At the time of graduation I needed time off from creating and just wanted to be told what to do. So I had auditioned for a company to be an apprentice; perfect, I was just in the background. Then the opportunity came to be a member of another great company, ah, still perfect. I was being told what to do rather than creating the work myself. It was a wonderful time of rest for me. Funny though, since the work was physically very intense and I had six part-time jobs to make ends meet. Ah, the life of an artist. 

It was 1995 when I was on tour with this second company I mentioned. We had been working seven days a week for months in Los Angeles. We were preparing a show for our tour in Scotland which had a "World Premiere"; with a crazy, beautiful sculpted structure we writhed around for hours a day, trying to figure out how to not kill ourselves on it as we worked with it. Pretty wild. We were in Scotland for 5 weeks, performing 6 nights a week, plus public street performances during the day and rehearsals on top of that - when needed.


At the end of the performances I went with a friend through the Highlands. That is where my life went sideways, so-to speak. Forever changed. It was only 3 days after the tour when I had a major stroke. Actually, I had been having warning signs for months, but at 26 having headaches with the craziness of my schedule I figured I just needed some time off. Little did I know how much “time off” I would need.

The chronic headaches had gotten so bad I would actually wake up in the morning unable to move my head at all. I took as many Aleve as the directions said one could take in a 24-hour time period, all at one time. In about an half-an-hour I could move my head. At this time I had an extremely high tolerance for pain and I certainly never cried. That just wasn't my style. That was about to change. There were times during the performances that I would awake in the morning in tears, in pain, unable to move my head. It was bad for that to happen. 


Once the shows were over and I was traveling, the pain actually grew worse…I began vomiting on occasion…then the vomiting wouldn’t stop. I went back to the hotel, the morning that I couldn’t stop, just to lay down for a bit. That’s when I blacked out. I fell into a coma. My friend, whom I was traveling with, ironically had encountered a stroke just a few years earlier. This was looking eerily familiar to him. He then took me to the nearby hospital, which did not have the equipment like a CAT Scan or MRI to check me out. They did what they could…a spinal tap…and found blood in the spinal fluid. But there was nothing else they could do.

My friend carried me out of the tiny hospital in his arms. There were no ambulances - and I was in a coma. He placed me in the passenger seat and drove me down to Glasgow, which was 5 or 6 hours away. The fact that I lived through that was a miracle in itself. It turns out, at that time, this was one of the few hospitals on the planet that was doing research on strokes; specifically strokes on young people and athletes. Interesting. What are the chances of that?!  (I have no awareness of this. I tell this through what I have been told by the others who were around at that time.)

The MRI showed that I had 9 blood clots in the veins on the left side of my brain. Strokes typically happen from clots in the arteries…which bring blood to the brain…for me blood was unable to leave my brain. (Looking back on it now I'm surprised I didn't have an aneurysm because of the engorged veins.)

My parents were called and they were told that if they ever wanted to see me again that they should get to the hospital because I wasn’t going to make it. I was on Life Support, with the tubes down my throat to help me breath, I couldn’t breath on my own. Not sure what number on the McKenzie scale I was on...but it wasn’t good. Given what I have been told, I was at least an 8. If you don’t know what that means look at it this way...on a scale of 1-10 if you are an 8 or above is bad. It means that you are likely to die, or if you do survive you have massive are considered “brain-dead.” This is what was happening to me.


It was three days that I was in the coma on life support. The longer you are on it the worse the recovery, the medical professionals say. The brain damage that I had wouldn’t allow me to think, or dream, or speak. So the likelihood of “dreaming” the heaven part is not possible, there was far too much brain damage. In fact, to this day I rarely dream.


I was in heaven for three days...very poetic. Heaven is real. Odd to say, but more real than here. I can’t tell every detail because the Lord has not let me remember every detail.


He told me, while He was speaking with me at my house in heaven, that there was a purpose for me to come back; there was something that He had for me to do. He gave me the choice. I could have stayed...which is far better than here...but I knew it would hurt His heart. So I came back. He also told me that it was going to be tough (recovering from the stroke) but that He would be with me. I knew it was going to be a long haul getting my life back to some semblance of normal...but I knew the Lord would help me every step of the way. He has absolutely done that...and more than I ever dreamed.


When I had come back (it was a year or two after I was back)  I asked Him why I couldn’t remember heaven and He told me that if He let me remember it all that I would not have stayed on earth. He did, however, let me have certain things to remember.


(The thing about the Lord is He is about relationship...not “religion.” Like a parent whom you deeply love or another elder whom you deeply trust and love, that kind of relationship. With Jesus and God it is the same. It is a relationship. You talk with them and they talk with you. They guide you. They help you. Most of all...They love you.)

The Coma: When I was in Heaven- The bits of heaven the Lord has let me remember to share with you:

  1. Heaven: -the air is...hard to’s “alive.” There is “life” in the air. It’s like each atom in the air is alive, each molecule with its own distinction. It is like it hugs you...peculiar for our human thinking...but it’s not weird when you’re there. It’s sort of like mugginess but not in that gross, muggy way. It is holding you. Embracing you. It’s absolutely beautiful.


There is an aroma to the air. It is so lovely. The aroma comes in waves. Never overpowering. Simply pleasant. There is a scripture (Revelation 5:8) that says the praises of His people cause an incense to come before the throne of God. I know this has something to do with it. I also know it has something to do with “sweetness” of the smell of God.


There is also a “harmonic” to the air. Yes, like music...but more like a harmonic. Again...I believe it is a part of the worship that goes up from the people, like the aroma, and I think it also comes from the heart of God. The harmonic comes in waves, like the aroma. It is extraordinary! There is more to it, though, but I haven't quite grasped it yet.


The colors of EVERYTHING are alive. Intense. Exuberant. Invigorating and dazzling to see! It puts the biggest smile on your face! Again, it may sound curious...but all has “life” in it. (We don’t realize how much death is on our planet.) The colors of the sky, which isn’t just blue, there’s peach and pink colors too...the sky is alive, vibrating, pulsating, resounding. All the colors are rich and brilliant, with a density and embodiment; and the flowers follow you as you pass by. Their flower heads or faces, so to speak, turn with you as you pass them. If you step on them they spring right back up!!! They have extraordinary aromas too. 


All of it is far more powerful than I can describe with words, and kinda blows you a good way. Kinda like being a kid in Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory but even more wonderful! Each thing is more spectacular than the next.


There is NO DUST in heaven!!!! How amazing is that!! Can you imagine NEVER HAVING TO DUST!!! How wonderful that is! The Lord told me: “Dust comes from decay. Decay is part of the death cycle. There is no death here (in heaven).”  No darkness either. God never intended man to have darkness or death. There is a scripture 1 John 1:5-“...God is light and in Him is no darkness at all.”


While there is soil on the ground that you can see, it doesn’t get you dirty. is living. Rocks don’t break apart either. That’s part of decay. “Life” in everything...even the soil and rocks. He says in Luke 19:40 that the rocks cry out, creation cries out. Soil and rocks are living! God says in His Word that He is light and life (John 6:33, 63). He is in everything. Being there you can see it. Feel it. Touch it. Smell it. Or I should say: See Him, Feel Him, Touch Him, and Smell Him. God is multi-dimensional - in EVERYTHING. 


Hold on to your socks with this one!!! Yes, there are streams, rivers, oceans...there's a scripture that says “on earth as it is in heaven” Matthew 6:10. Okay, sure heaven would be that way because earth has those things...but...the water has gemstones in it, on the bottom and sides. Gleaming. Brilliant. Beautiful. Some flowers grow in the sides and bottom amongst the gemstones AND you can breathe under water! You can sit under the water AND BREATHE and look at the beautiful gem stones and fish…and never need to come up for air! The water feels different doesn’t feel like’s like a density more than air but not as much as water here. When you get out of the water your are dry! Imagine that! (I know...again weird and so dang hard to explain.)


I saw my home, at least part of it. It wasn’t finished yet. It was on a hillside that led down to a stream. The hillside was loaded with flowers and low-growing grass. Gemstones were in the hillside like rocks would be, surrounded by flowers and grass, and they were under my house. It was like a house built upon rocks and the rocks were gemstones. (I never thought of this before now but there is a scripture about a house built upon solid rock.) The part of my house that overlooked the stream was a large open veranda. No windows or doors of course. It had a roof about 10 or 12 feet back from the open part and it was at least two stories. (It reminded me of the Maxfield Parish painting that I have in my bedroom. That’s why I bought the picture. But the painting is so dark. Heaven isn’t that way at all. Heaven is bright, beautiful, exciting colors. Utterly stunning.) My house has columns that mark the inside from the outside and attach to the roof. No glass pained windows or doors. Open to the outside. The floor of the veranda arcs and goes roughly 10 feet past the columns. It was some sort of stone. It looked like marble but I’m not sure it was. The veranda is directly upon the hillside of gemstones, that you get to by walking up a stone stepped passage way that comes up from the stream; it eventually comes along the right side of the house and a second part goes further to the right...this other part of the path makes a pathway shaped like the right side of a “Y,” going to the meadow to the side and back of the house. The branch of the “Y” on the left goes to the veranda.


The veranda has small ornate stone columns that support a waist-high railing. The railing is wide enough to sit upon and has nooks within the railing where one can sit. This is where the Lord came and spoke with me about coming back to earth. This was where I had made that choice. The Lord is ALWAYS about free will. He will never force anyone to do anything. He lays the choice out in front of you, then it’s up to you. If you think of it this way, God is Love (1 John 4:8) and it wouldn’t be right to force someone to love you. He created us because He wanted a family. Fellowship. It’s up to us to choose Him or not.


While I was in my house (no, there are no bathrooms, we won’t need them; nor washing machines) I saw that the open area I described above was a part of a performance space. (I have always been a choreographer and is a gift the Lord gave me...that gift does not go away, it will increase and be at its fullest potential in heaven. Whatever your gifting is, it will be at its fullest and best in heaven.)  In the performance space I saw my great-grandfather. I have never met him. He was working on my house, in this very room, on the inside of the columns of the veranda. I saw him from the back while he was on a ladder working on the balcony over the space. This space was round: walls and inside balcony curved. When I described to my mother what he was wearing and doing she began to tear up. Light grey suit pants (they looked like they were pin stripped) with a white shirt (with an undershirt) with the sleeves rolled up. She said that was him; he always wore those kind of clothes and colors; he loved pin-stripes and he liked building things. I also told her he was whistling. When I told her that, her jaw dropped. She said he used to do that all the time. She said he loved to whistle and hum as he was doing things. She loved that he was helping build my home.


I was raised as an only child. However when I was 2 my mother gave birth to another daughter. I don’t remember much because I was so young. She only lived for 6 months. When I was in heaven I saw her. She was a young woman. I couldn’t tell you exactly how old...maybe a youngish teenager. I saw her from the back. I was glad to have seen her. I wasn’t expecting it. I do know that whatever age you want your child to be, if you’ve lost a child...whether naturally or an abortion, the child is there. If it was an abortion, forgive yourself. Name the child. If you don’t know the sex, choose a male and female name. You will get to raise your child. And whatever age you want them to be...they will be that age for you to have the joy of raising. Remember, there is no turmoil in heaven. Nothing bad. Ever. It will be a joy to raise your child.


The Work Begins: I have no recollection of when I first awoke from the coma. Apparently when I woke up after being in heaven for 3 days, they had to remove the tubes from my chest. I remember none of that. All I knew was, when I became cognitive, my chest and throat hurt and it was 3 additional days after the coma. Ouch. That was the point where I "remember" being awake. Weird. I had no memory of where I had just been...all I knew is I went somewhere and now I was back. When I first recall being awake in the hospital bed, besides the pain in my throat and chest, I saw my mother. The next face I remember seeing was the Artistic Director of the company I was dancing with. (He is still a good friend to this day.)  I wasn’t scared but wondered where I was. I asked, she told me. I wasn’t surprised nor was I upset. It made sense to me. The nurse was getting me up and I couldn’t figure out why the right side of my body didn’t work – I couldn’t sit and I definitely couldn’t stand or walk. The nurse told me what happened more specifically. The right side of my body had been affected from the stroke - paralysis. Again, I wasn’t surprised, it just made sense why I couldn't move the right side of my body. Without a wheelchair the nurse attempted to help me “walk” into the bathroom so she could give me a shower…of which I had no concept of what to do, nor would I have thought to give myself a shower. She found she needed to get a wheel chair for me because she couldn't move me or bathe me without one. I was a mess.


At the hospital they had me walk as frequently as possible, and as best as I could. Gotta say...this was a bit of a joke. Someone held onto one side of my body while I held or rather fell into and dragged along the wall on the other side. Only a few times had they gotten out a wheelchair for me. I am actually grateful for that. It made me "work." The hospital even had a speech therapist come in and work with me. I vaguely remember that…but I do remember thinking ”who is this woman, this is ridiculous and doesn’t she know I understand how to do what she’s asking.” Mentally I understood, however, the words that came out of my mouth were different…displaying something else. Gibberish. I was at the hospital for nearly a month before I could leave and travel on a plane to come home.

My mom brought me back to California and another friend of mine packed up my apartment and put it all into storage. My step-father and mother moved me back home with them since I couldn’t take care of myself. I would sleep 20 hours a day. When I was awake I would be in a dream-like state. No movement, no talking, just staring. This went on for months. When I thought “I should move my body” and I attempted that…it was very painful. Down-right excruciating. I could not get the right side of my body to move.

The Brain Damage: was almost the entire thalamus; part of the frontal lobe; part of the parietal lobe; part of the corpus colosum; and part of the olfactory area of the brain stem. Major. I couldn’t think. I had no analytical thought; I thought nothing. It was weird. It was quiet. I think I enjoyed that the most. No “always running dialogue” in my mind. It was quiet and oh so nice! The negative part was I couldn’t think to remember things...even to shower, feed myself, talk - which is why my parents were taking care of me. I thank God for my folks! 


Although I knew what I wanted to say if someone asked something...I just didn’t know how to find the words whether it was in speaking or writing. Brain damage doesn’t mean the mind is damaged. The mind still works. It simply can’t get information to the brain because of the damage within the brain. The brain is only the physical housing of the mind. This is where the damage was. Not my mind.


I couldn’t read…not that I didn’t understand the shapes of the letters, I knew the letters, but couldn't remember the meaning of the words…and then my focus would “float” somewhere else. Once I realized what was happening, I would focused on each word. It was then that I realized I didn’t remember the meaning of a great many words. Words used to be easy for me. I had always been a reader and had high proficiency for reading in school. When I was in the 5th grade I had a high school to college reading level. But now speaking was difficult. Most words just weren’t there. It was very frustrating. I knew what I wanted to say but I didn’t know how to communicate it. My mind was fine…it was the brain that had the damage in it.  Added to all of this was the need for quiet. I couldn’t handle much stimulation whether it was from sound, smell, or visual. I couldn’t watch television much either. So I kept very secluded and away from people, away from everything. I couldn’t even go to the store with my parents. They would try to get me out of the house. But I couldn’t handle it. I would have to leave the store and hide in the car where I could close myself in, even if I had to lower the seat or cover my head and eyes with clothing so I could calm down the “in-put." I would physically stress when this happened – with shortened, quick breath, muscles tense and wanting to cower down and hide in the corner. This was now my life.


For my brain I began getting into the Word. I listened to tapes (it was 1995). I called them my God tapes. I would listen to them over, and over, and over again. I had eventually built up to listen to them 8 or more hours per day. I did this for about 3 years. I had so much brain damage there was little else I could do. During this time...I think it was about the second year, the Lord lead me to read the Gospels and Acts - first 5 books of the New Testament in the Bible. I was to read all 5 books in 10 days, and repeat it 3 times for the total of a month. To read 5 books means 1/2 of one book needs to be read per day. This takes a normal person about 20 minutes or so. But for me it was much, much longer. This was tough! As I would read, I wouldn’t understand some words, most words,…then I would just “float” off somewhere in my imagination. Couldn’t tell you where. I would be “gone” for a while, sometimes 40 minutes or longer. Take a nap then begin again. It slowly got easier as the days went on. I did do it in the month, 3 times within the month. The Lord helped me through this. He told me He would, and I kept “holding on” to what He said as I was reading. At the beginning it was about an hour, nap, get up, and try again. Repeat. All throughout the day. It took hours and hours per day at the beginning. By the end I could do in about an hour or hour and a half.


It was so hard to focus on those words. I knew He would help me and this would make a difference but I had no idea how. Completing this task the Lord gave me stimulated by brain to reorganize! It was amazing! Huge growth in how my brain was able to work. From that time forward I kept reading the Bible. (This is how to achieve anything. Spend time in His Word regarding a particular subject matter, speak it out loud over yourself as you read it, and it will change things. Romans 10:17; Hebrews 11:1; James 2:12. It takes whatever time YOU need. For me it was a long haul because of all the brain damage. It won’t take that long for you. Just keep sticking with it!)


I “knew” that His Word was true and was going to do what He said; and I didn't care how long it took. I kept sticking with it. Sticking with Him. Sticking with what He said. His Word is Truth (John 17:17).


At two years after the stroke, after reading the Gospels and Acts, was when some part of my brain had literally “clicked” on…it was my sense of humor. That was something that I lost too and it all-of-a-sudden turned on. I was ecstatic! It was a "suddenly." That's a vey God-kinda thing. He does a lot of "suddenlies" and it was amazing to experience that!

He kept bringing many other things my way to help with brain stimulation and regrowth. I won’t go into all of that. But the scriptures I stood on for years was 1 Corinthians 2:16-“...we (I) have the mind of Christ” and Philippians 4:13-“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I kept pressing in to those scriptures by speaking them over myself and not putting up with my brain damage. I especially had to do this when things were bad. I demanded that it work correctly because God said so. It didn’t happen right away. It took some time. For my brain it took about 7 years. It’s far better now than it ever was. And the Lord did it. Flat out. I had to put His Word in my heart and in my head. I kept reading it, listening to it, and speaking it. Reading, listening, speaking!  It changed how I thought. Changed how I felt. Changed my body. Changed my life. If I didn’t do this I would for sure have died. My body couldn’t have made it...not with the damage I had. You can do the exact same thing no matter what your are going through!


This was all very different from where I was before. I went to a neurologist near my parents home. He was amazed at seeing the MRI from Scotland versus the MRI I had just taken for him. He said I was doing great. Pretty amazing considering what I’ve just shared…I guess it means it could have been worse? Yikes. He said it looked like two different brains. My brain had recovered a lot from the damage that was initially there…damage that, he said, remains once it has happened. He was shocked. BUT GOD!! (Subsequent MRI's 15 years later, have shown hardly any damage. It's difficult to see on the scan now. God is Good!)

When I had asked this doctor about what I would be able to do, being a dancer, he said I would probably have to find another line of work and I would probably wind up in a wheelchair. Because I wasn’t in one at the time didn’t mean that I would stay that way. "Prepare myself," he said. When I heard that I decided to not accept that “decree.” I knew that he had not experienced someone recovering from a stroke before. I decided I would be his first! God and I would get this done! I was NOT going to live the rest of my life the way he said. God is bigger!

My Body: The months following being home with my parents were very tough. Even though I had made up my mind I would recover. Or perhaps it's more appropriate to say - because I decided I would recover I found out how hard it was.  I now had to work with this, work through this. I went through a severe state of depression. Simply breaking down and crying as I would fall to the floor was an everyday experience. My body and brain wasn't working right. The healing took time and went in stages. 

One thing I will say about people, they can be the worst...especially when you are standing for things God tells you to do, and it is ALWAYS opposite from what you have. For example: while I was dealing with paralysis I had to speak God’s Word that said I was healed, and another scripture that said I could run like a gazelle. My body was doing the opposite. You know how crazy you look to people, who don’t have a clue what you’re doing, and when you can hardly stand or walk - and you are saying you can run like a gazelle? Fun. And when you’re dealing with tough stuff like paralysis - when your body is “saying” and doing something completely’s not easy emotionally. You have to battle every thought in your head, every emotion, and everything that your body is doing. It brings to mind the scripture that says: “I’m strong IN HIM and IN the Power of His Might” - Ephesians 6:10, not strong in myself. I couldn’t rely on myself. When we are fighting things we can’t rely on ourselves - only on Him. He will give you the strength and will-power to do what needs to be done.


Like I said, I had support from my family who understood what I was doing. Thank God! I stayed away from all of my friends...actually most never reached out to me once I had the stroke. I was upset because of it at the time but I realized if they were around it would have been far worse. Why? Because people’s natural inclination is to “sympathize.” Sympathy is DEADLY. It will kill you if you allow it. It’s about commiserating about “how bad your life is” and getting “agreement” from others which creates a worse situation. The payoff is that you have others feeling sorry for you. That’s a really stupid payoff...and for what?!  Misery?  Depression?  So dumb.

For my body I stood on a few primary scriptures all wrapped up together: Galatians 3:13-14, 29; Deuteronomy 28:61; Romans 8:1-2. These were my primary “go-to’s.” There are something like 300 of them. I kept speaking these to my body. I kept listening to healing scriptures. I even took a three day time period of reading aloud 100 healing scriptures to myself every hour of the day - yes, all 24 hours, so I could hear me speaking them to myself. I did this every hour for three days in a row. At night I would set my alarm to wake up each hour, read the scriptures, go back to bed. It got to where my spirit through the Holy Spirit within me, would wake me up and start speaking them out of my spirit!! I could hear Him in my spirit! This was just before my alarm clock would go off. IT WAS AMAZING!! 

I would still get out my Bible, put the scriptures in front of my eyes, and speak them out loud. By the third day I didn’t even need my alarm clock. Every hour of the day and night, the Holy Spirit through my spirit would start speaking scriptures. I could hear them out of my heart...just like Luke 6:45- “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”


(Again, you can do the exact same thing no matter the situation. He will lead you in what to do and how to do it.)


I was forever changed after this. My heart and my head had changed. I still had physical things to deal with but my head and heart completely changed. I knew I was healed. I wasn’t moved by the physical manifestation not showing up right away. I was healed and that settled it. It was one thing at a time. Layer upon layer. I had to keep speaking the Word to my body with total healing taking 17 years to completely manifest. I went back to dancing within the first 5 years of this 17 years stint. This was something doctors said could never happen. They said I would be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life and that I would be very limited mentally in what I could do. With God ALL things are possible!

What I have since achieved, through the Lord, is everything I had dreamed of as a young lady in college…I have my own dance company again and we have been performing since 2002. We also have our very own black box theater with everything we need. We have toured internationally and have received high critical acclaim. So much for needing to be secluded and away from crowds…I have performed in Guatemala in the 2,000-seat National Theater and my company does aerial work and physical theatre. Total strength of the body and balance is needed for this. In 2002 I performed with Baryshnikov only 7 years after the stroke. I wasn't perfect but I did it (I knew the differences in my body but most people couldn't tell). At the end of that year I got married. In 2007 we went to perform in Greece to sold out shows and all of our shows in our black-box theater were sold out. This is good!


I didn’t have anyone to go to but the Lord brought certain people across my path. That’s the best. The right people being in the right place at the right time!!! There are NO coincidences. 


I share this because this is the nitty-gritty of putting God’s Word to work. This is how you do it. James 2:12-“So speak and so act as people should who are to be judged under the law of Liberty.” You have to speak the Word and then act accordingly no matter how bad things seem. This is what I meant by the the “principle” is simple but the “doing it” is tough. You may have a rough road ahead but the Lord will help you. Read my notes below for added support.


*Note: Many people hate God and Jesus so bad…how can you hate something/someone that you think doesn’t exist? …or someone you don’t truly know yet? Some may use a softer form of hate, which is “denial.” That hate is motivated by a spirit, it is not naturally within mankind, it is not naturally within you.


Did you ever notice why the words “Jesus Christ” are used as a swear word? Why not “Buddha” or “Allah?” It’s easy…Jesus is real - God in human flesh, which gave Him authority over what Satan had stolen. The enemy - Satan - hates God, hates Jesus especially because of what Jesus did on the cross for us. Meaning we now have a choice. We don’t have to go to hell. That was the enemy’s motive: separate God from His creation forever. Hurting God was his ultimate goal.


Sometimes people ask, “why Jesus?” Meaning how can He be the only way to God the Father? It’s simple really. He is the Son of God. No one else is - Buddha, Mohamed, etc. The Word says that Jesus was born from a virgin - Mary. Scientifically an archeologist studied the blood found at the cross that Jesus was crucified on. (His name is Ron Wyatt. Look up “Arc of the Covenant Discovery.”) He had found the site in the ’80’s. He couldn’t have the blood tested until the early ’90’s because the science wasn’t fully developed yet.


There is a scripture that says “the life is in the blood.” They have proved that old blood - no matter how old - still has cells in it that are alive! Upon science making all sorts of discoveries, about blood, chromosomes and DNA in the ’80’s made for a huge breakthrough for this archeologist when he had it tested in the early ’90’s. Human blood has 48 chromosomes in it: 24 from the mother, and 24 from the father. When the archeologist tested the blood he found 25 chromosomes!!! A human can not live with 25 chromosomes. Jesus had 24 from His mother, and 1 from His Father, God Almighty!


Another reason “why Jesus?”  When mankind fell, Adam & Eve, he had fallen from his position with God the Father. Everything that was given to Adam had been turned over to Satan, though illegally. Adam was the ruler over everything but he was deceived and turned it all over to the devil. 


However, the caveat is/was that “flesh” or bodily form has true authority, no matter what, on this earth. God gave it to us so “spirit” can’t take it over. He was protecting us from Satan. That’s why when we want God to be involved in things - because He is Spirit (John 4:24) - on this earth, we need to pray and give Him the right to do things here. Once the earth was yielded over illegally to satan (I hate capitalizing his name) it changed everything. It was “illegal” because Adam and Eve were deceived. They did not do it openly with understanding. They were conned. The original “conn game.”


The deception itself was a sin, which always has a penalty: death. Which is what the devil has done. Per that sin that satan did, he then initiates the penalty which is blood and death. Our enemy loves blood and death. This is “cause and effect” or rather “2 sides to this coin.” When there is sin, the result is death. Death is the other side of the coin. An odd statement perhaps, but if you've ever researched satanic cults, they are always about rituals that involve blood and death. 

Why did God make the satan? He was perfect in the day he was created. Sin was found in him. Isaiah 14:12-17; Ezekiel 28:11-19; Luke 10:18.  Yes, God made a creature that was imperfect. Because it is a living thing. God always his creations free-will. It is up to the creation what to do with it. Won't go into all of this but one part is God always has an angel as a companion, support, protection for every creation. satan...which is his name after he fell - means "deceiver" - was Jesus' angel. Another reason why Jesus had to come to be the sacrifice for mankind.

Biblically “death” means spiritual “separation” from God. satan wanted to separate God’s greatest treasure - mankind - from God. We were Spirit, soul and body. Now mankind was just soul and body because of the “separation.” Before Adam and Eve did what they did, they walked in the Garden and talked with God…all the time. Their Spirits were alive to and with God. They saw Him; spoke easily with Him. Connected. They actually moved in and out of one another. (Need to think multidimensionally for this not linearly.)  Once the fall happened they couldn't see Him, feel Him, no awareness of Him at all. There was no "Spirit-life" within mankind. The spirit is dead without God. Once you believe in what He's done for you, you can feel a "change." It's hard to explain. It's a knowing that you're different on the inside. It's because your spirit is now alive to God!


God created mankind because He desired a family. Now He had lost His family and He wanted to get back what satan stole. He devised a plan. Since He gave mankind authority on the earth, He had to come in the flesh to break this “curse” that had not only fallen on mankind but on every living thing: plants, animals, birds, fish…all of it. It had all been stolen.


He took a part of Himself, a seed, into humankind through Mary, to bring Jesus here. Because death is the ultimate part of the curse, this meant Jesus had to die for mankind. He had to die “illegally” - meaning not committing sin but then forced to die and go to hell. Illegal. Blood had to be spilled from God Himself in the flesh to eradicate the curse. In the Old Testament blood of animals had to be spilled, prior to Jesus’ crucifixion, to cleanse the priests and the people. 


The reason why that is only temporary is all on this earth is under the curse. We were born into it. So the animals couldn't really cleanse. It was more like a temporary fix. It needed to be the blood of a human that wasn’t 100% human. He had to be part God, God-Blood, and without sin. Because sin brings death. This is how His blood obliterated the curse for anyone who believes. That simple: Believe.


Jesus was the only one who could have brought us back to God. All you have to do is believe that He is the Son and shed His blood for you, and the most important part is on the third day He was Resurrected. So many people saw Him after His resurrection. It's all through the Gospels and the first part of Acts. This is what the New Testament is about. That’s why there is a New Covenant. Blood of animals is no longer necessary to bring us to God; The Blood of Jesus has wiped our slates clean of sin and death forever! 


All you have to do is talk with God. Tell Him you believe in what He did for you, pulling you out of the curse. Thank Him for sending His Son to do that, and that you receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Pray this in Jesus’ Name. 


Some may wonder, “why do I have to say ‘I make Jesus my Lord and Savior?’” Because when we are born into this world under the curse, satan is our lord. We didn't choose it. It is what comes with birth. Now we can choose: One or the other is your Lord/lord. By believing in what He did for you on the cross then moves you under His protection and Lordship. Because of Jesus you can choose. Who will be your Lord/lord?


All of this is the ultimate story of Good versus evil. Good (God) taking back what was stolen from Him….His family and His creation!


Unfortunately people have given Jesus and God a bad name because of stupid things they say or do. Sometimes very violent and unconscionable things. Yet they proclaim to know God. Never look to people. They are always a disappointment. Look to God and Jesus. There is always Love and Peace when you look to them!


Whenever I got going down the wrong track He would help me. He still does. Talk with the Lord. He will lead you. Sometimes when He leads it is by an impression or “gut feeling.” Sometimes He speaks with you very quietly from within you. Sometimes you just “know” what the next action is that you need to do. If you don’t put Him in a box, box: meaning He can only speak to you one way, He will lead you in many ways. When He leads you to do something, it always goes in line with His Word. The more Word you read, the more you’ll know Him. You’ll know how He speaks. You'll know His character. What He says to you always goes in line with His Word. His Word IS His will. So you don’t have to worry when you get direction that is in line with His Word.

Now that you’ve prayed that prayer underlined above get a Bible and begin reading. It is the primary way to “feed” your spirit. You'll "feel" better when you do it. You'll "feel" like you've had a really good meal. You’ll see what I mean as you read it. 




**Using the Bible: It is divided into two parts - Old Testament (OT); and New Testament (NT). The OT is the first part - Genesis to Malachi. The NT is the second part - Matthew to Revelation.


Jesus is the dividing line.


OT is before Jesus. NT is Jesus and after: is His life, death, resurrection, and how we are to live life now that we are free from the curse of the fall of mankind (Deuteronomy 28:15-61). The NT gives information how to deal with the curse, because it is still in the world and the world system, and it is exactly opposite to how God works. And we will have to deal with it while we are on this earth.


All of the Bible is good. It is all important. For right now there are 2 sections to read: Epistles written by Paul and the books written by John. The Epistles are from Romans to Philemon. John wrote: Gospel of John; 1, 2, 3, John; and Revelation. (Check “Table of Contents” at the beginning page of the Bible.)


Epistles were written by Paul to churches. Paul wrote by Revelation from God. God IS the Revealer. When you spend time with Him in His Word, He then reveals things to you. I call it "making us smarter than we are on this earth." Sometimes it is in an “Ah-ha” moment...the “light coming on” so to speak. Sometimes He speaks with you. Sometimes He shows you in a dream. Sometimes He shows you in a vision. A vision happens when you are awake and you “see” something before your eyes. Kind of like watching a movie screen. Your eyes can be open or closed. Revelation is how God showed Himself to Paul, as well as a personal visitation where He revealed many things to Paul who then wrote 2/3 of the NT about it to the church. We are considered a part of the church. What he wrote is to us. 


For the 3 books that John wrote (he was one of Jesus’ disciples; John knew Him personally), John’s books are imperative to read: Gospel of John [the 4th book in the NT]; 1 John [5th book from the end]; and Revelation [the last book of the Bible]. He really understood the Love of God. John is the only disciple that did and he was the only disciple that lived to be an old man. All the others were martyred. John was tortured too but he survived and lived. At one point he was boiled in oil. That says something about the Love of God - it protects. Paul also understood the love of God, by revelation, 1 Corinthians 13, but the depth of the love of God is shown in John’s writings because of his experience with Him.


Know that God’s Word IS His will. His Word is inspired by Him and He cannot lie: Hebrews 6:18. If God can not lie and His word was given by Him to the scribes, then we can trust that His Word is Him speaking TO you and is truth. Take it personally. Every time it says “you” put your name in there, or “I.” It makes it personal. It is. God talking with you. 2 Timothy 3:16 - “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God (you, or your name, or I) may be complete, throughly equipped for every good work.” Know that when you honestly believe in your heart about Jesus: that Jesus is the Son of God and He died for you, and most important He was Resurrected, you now have everything, help, peace, gifts, wisdom etc., all of it He has provided. One of them is His Righteousness. As it says in 2 Corinthians 5:21-“you (your name) are the Righteousness of God IN Christ Jesus.” It has nothing to do with what we are and what we have done or do, other than believe on Him. That’s the only thing we have to do. We can’t “work” our way to heaven. Ephesians 2:8-9: “for by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, last anyone should boast.” He takes care of everything. Now - just live as you’re “led.”  


This world is changing. All can feel it. What is coming is extraordinary! 1 Corinthians 15:52 - “In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead in Christ will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.” and in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18 - “For the Lord Himself will descend form heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first, then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.”  


Everything Jesus spoke about that was supposed to happen before the Rapture has occurred; and what is laid out for the Tribulation period which follows is in Matthew 24 & 25; Mark 13; and Luke 21, and Revelation 6-18, we see laying out in place right now (Especially since 2020). We are right on it! We will be gone soon! See you in heaven! 



Love ya, Rina 

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